Showing posts from October, 2020

Meeting Dr. Rowe

A diagram from Dr. Rowe shows how Dysautonomia correlates and connects to most of Jayde's illnesses. Each trip to Hopkins is full of anxiety. We never know what will change or be discovered. Today's appointment felt like two lifetimes in the making. If I had to choose one word to sum up Jayde's appointment, it would be—validating. Growing up, my joint pains were written off as growing pains. My migraines were dismissed as mere headaches. I stopped seeking medical treatment because I could not bear to hear yet again, "We cannot figure out what is wrong," or "It's all in your head." Though medicine has advanced since my childhood, some doctors practice medicine, while other doctors specialize in medicine. When I realized Jayde was sick, I was determined my fate would not be hers. I refused to give up on her or allow any doctor to make her feel insignificant by dismissing her. Today was the culmination of all of that. Jayde's comprehensive exam with

Coming Out Day

Yesterday was National Coming Out Day. I cannot fathom ever forgetting the day Brady came out to me. If for no other reason than the importance of the event to my son's life. He was on his way home and called me, "When I get home can we talk?" His voice was heavy with apprehension and fear.  When he arrived home, he requested we go to my bedroom to discuss what was on his mind. I knew then this was serious. I braced myself for the worst. "Mom, I am gay." Not hesitating, I breathed a sigh of relief, "Ok." His eyes widened. He was in utter shock, "What? That's it?" "Yes. You are still the same sweet boy I gave birth to nineteen years ago. I loved you then, and I will love you until the day I die and even afterward. This does not change anything." The worst never came. Brady had lifted his anchor. I could see and feel this heavy burden drift away and disappear like a boat out to sea. Though looking back at those last words, his com

Fabulous Fifty During a Pandemic

October 2, 2020  Talk about all the best-laid plans going awry. In my wildest dreams, or maybe nightmares, I never imagined this is what life would look like when I turned fifty. Prior to a global pandemic, which non-discriminately took everyone's lives, shook them upside down, and spit us all out with a new accessory that really messes with my lipstick, the plan was to usher in a half-century in my favorite seaside town of Isle of Palms and Charleston, SC. Unfortunately, it did not take long to realize, that was not happening! Several weeks ago, I awoke to a message from my mother, "Question??? What would you like to do for your 50th birthday? Is there any place special you would like to go/do? I have some ideas and thought I'd just come out and ask you." I did not need to think about my response, "If I could go anywhere, I'd choose Charleston. I want to wake up, be able to put my toes in the sand, and see, smell, and hear the ocean." Right now, Charles