Showing posts from December, 2017

A Mother's Journey through Bi-polar Disorder and Addiction

Last spring, I wrote a piece chronicling the journey of my daughter's illness with POTS. After it was published, my son lightheartedly commented, "Now it is time to write about our journey." I cringed because there was nothing lighthearted about our journey. I uttered the truth from within my heart, "I am not sure I can." While I knew I could write something, I was keenly aware of the deep trauma still tucked right below the surface. I was emotionally raw and drained from the events of the past year. If I was not careful, I was keenly aware that a volcanic disaster of pain, remorse, and regret would come spewing out, and no one would be capable of halting the explosion.  I wrestled with the uncertainty of where my writing would take us. Unsure if we were ready to jointly revisit the past scars, knowing I would open fresh wounds and possibly old ones as well. Was Brady was prepared to read my thoughts? If he would he feel when I was done?  A
  Have you ever given notion to the idea that a word could be beautiful? For me, that word is Serendipitous. The word has an air of grace and elegance as it flows off the tongue, but it is not only the word. The simple definition of the word—serendipitous means: to find something good or beautiful when you are not looking for it. As parents, I think we are so busy with life that sometimes we tend to have our controls set on autopilot without any realization...until something forces us to stop and take inventory of our world around us. I know I have personally experienced this autopilot phenomenon more times than I would like to admit.  My mind has been consumed with a lot of fears this past year. Worrying about Brady, his mental health, and sobriety, in addition to the normal things you consider when your child is grown and living on their own for the first time. Jayde's health has not been good. Her POTS continues to spin out of control, and I worry about her future.